Teen Sexting Tips

“Sexting” refers to sharing nude or sexually explicit photos via cellphone, but it’s happening on other devices and on the Internet, as well.  Sometimes the images are shared voluntarily and other times kids might be coerced into sending them. One thing is for SURE:  Sexting has serious legal, emotional, and social consequences. Also, once photos are sent, they're out of your control and some people use them to harass, bully, intimidate, or embarrass their victims.   "Tweens", Teens, and Adults----Consider these tips!!

It’s Illegal: DON'T take or send nude or sexually revealing photos of yourself or anyone else. If you do, even if they’re of YOU or you pass along someone else – you could be charged with CREATING or distributing CHILD PORNOGRAPHY.  If you keep them on your phone or computer you could be charged with possession of CHILD PORNOGRAPHY. **If a photo is sent to YOUR phone, do NOT under ANY circumstances, send, forward, or share it!! (Again, this can be considered "distribution of child pornography).  Also, If they go to someone in another state (and that happens really easily), it then becomes a FEDERAL felony.  The bottom line is:  You can be charged with a SERIOUS crime and labeled or registered as a  "SEX OFFENDER" for the rest of your life.

Other Consequences: Then there’s the EMOTIONAL damage and devastating effects to your REPUTATION that can come from having intimate photos of yourself go to a friend who can become an ex-friend and send it to everyone he/she knows.  Not only can they be sent around; they can be distributed and archived online for people to search YEARS down the road!! This can affect you when you try to get a job or get into college!!

It's Not Just Happening on Cell Phones:  Sexting can be done with most any technology or media-sharing device – including email and the INTERNET.  In fact, most of the time, what starts on a cell phone, ends up on the INTERNET. In addition, many teens have been convicted for child porn distribution for EMAILING or IM'ing sexually explicit photos to each other.  This also can result from video-chatting or Skype.

"Causes:"  Teens are responding to peer pressure in a form of cyberbullying or pressure from a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner OR they end up breaking up and the photos get sent around due to "revenge." Sometimes sexting happens because of impulsive behavior, blackmail, or basic flirting.  Whatever the case or reason, it is ALWAYS A BAD IDEA.

If You RECEIVE Pictures: If someone is sending you explicit photos, tell a parent or TRUSTED ADULT.  A trusted adult can help you resolve the matter before it ESCALATES into a more serious situation.

Remember:  Healthy relationships are based on MUTUAL RESPECT, not simply physical attraction.  Refuse to be pressured into sending sexual or physically revealing pictures.  If someone threatens you or tries to force you to take or share a picture, talk to a TRUSTED ADULT.

Talk to Your Friends: If someone you know is sharing sexually revealing photos, encourage him/her to STOP.  If necessary, talk to a TRUSTED ADULT.  This isn't "tattling."  It's telling the truth to help keep someone safe.  Good friends try to help keep each other safe....

The Bottom Line: Stay alert when using technology. Remember, people aren't always as they appear or seem and don't always have YOUR best intentions in mind.  The BEST protection against sexting is to THINK before you hit that 'send' or 'post button. Critical thinking is the best protection possible!!   THINK BEFORE YOU "SEXT".

Don't Give in to Peer Pressure to Send Naked or Revealing Photos....

Teen Life Q&A

Q: There is a boy at school who keeps trying to snap my bra & grabs me like he's playing around. I don't think it's funny but I just don't know what to do. Any advice PLEASE??

A: What you are describing is Sexual Harassment. Sexual Harassment is any pattern of behavior, sexual in nature, that makes you feel uncomfortable. This kind of behavior can also make the school environment feel hostile & unsafe. It can interfere with your ability to learn, study, or participate in school activities. You are NOT alone. At least 80% of students in grades 8-11 have experienced sexual harassment. There IS good news, though.....You are protected by law and should be able to attend school WITHOUT being sexually harassed & being put in a "hostile environment."

Title IX, is a federal law that prohibits sex discrimination in education.

Here are some steps you can take to bring an end to sexual harassment.

1. Do not ignore the sexual harassment.
2. Tell or write the person who's harassing you to STOP. It may not always be obvious to your harasser that the behavior is unwelcome. If you're able, tell the person directly. You can also write in a LETTER that you don't like his or her behavior and that you want it to stop. If you are afraid to tell the harasser directly, ask your parents and/or school officials to get involved.
3. Talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling. Friends, a trusted teacher, siblings and parents can all be helpful in giving you loving support as well as ideas for how to stop the harassment. You can also call the Sexual Assault Crisis & Support Center for support. If the harassment continues, keep a dated journal of the behavior including times, places.
4. Inform your teacher, guidance counselor or school principal that you are being sexually harassed. You can also have a parent or guardian help you tell the school. Your school has a legal responsibility to address the sexual harassment of its students.
5. Ask to see your school's sexual harassment policy. Schools are required to have a "Title IX" or sexual harassment policy. This policy should outline the appropriate steps you should take, and the steps THEY will take, in response to sexual harassment. You might find this policy right in your student handbook. The school office should also have a copy of this policy for you to read.
6. Find out who your school's Title IX officer is and contact him or her directly. Schools are required to identify a "Title IX" officer, at their school or at the school district. This person will respond to complaints and questions about sexual harassment. Some schools or school districts have two Title IX officers -one male and one female- because some students are more comfortable talking to a particular gender.
7. If nothing happens after reporting to school officials, you can contact the Department of Education's Office of Civil Rights and file a formal complaint against the school. You can also file a complaint in state or federal court.

You are NOT alone!! It is NOT your fault!! Nobody deserves to be sexually harassed!!

Q: Some of the same kids at school who have been bullying me are now taking it online. Lately, the minute I get home from school & get on AIM, I get bombarded with mean, nasty IMs. Sometimes I get threatened & sometimes I just get called names like "slut" or "whore." One kid IMd me a photo & it was MY face attached to someone else's body in a super skimpy outfit. Help!! I don't know what to do!!

A: What you are describing is "Cyberbulling" or online harassment. This happens when teens use the Internet, cell phones & other electronic devices to post or send messages or images with the GOAL of embarrassing & hurting another person. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! This is a problem that affects half of all U.S. teens.

Other ways kids are harassed online:

• Kids pretending they are other people online to trick others
• Spreading lies and rumors about victims
• Tricking or bullying people into revealing personal information
• Sending or forwarding mean text messages
• Posting pictures of victims without their consent

Here are some basic tips if you or a friend is being bullied/harassed online or via cell phone:

• Save all messages you receive. Print them out if you can.
• Tell a trusted ADULT. Remember, it's NOT your fault.
• Contact your internet service provider & report it. They can also help you to block messages.
• If it's happening on AOL, Myspace, Facebook, or other sites-report the behaviors to them, as well.
• If messages are threatening or you feel you're in danger, call the POLICE. Making threats is illegal!!
• As tempting as it might be, do NOT respond back to harassing messages.
• Change your contact info. Get new user names, SNs, cell numbers, etc. & only give out to closest friends & family.
• Keep usernames & passwords SECRET. Keep all personal info PRIVATE.

How can I help to PREVENT cyberbulling?

• Refuse to pass along bullying messages
• Tell friends to stop!!
• Block communication with people who participate in this behavior.
• Report cyberbullying/online harassment to a trusted adult.
• Speak to other students, teachers & your school to develop rules & guidelines about cyberbullying.
• Raising awareness of this problem in your community by holding an assembly.
• Create posters or fliers to give to younger kids, parents, or community.